Nikki Glaser Tells Howard Stern What Harsh Jokes Didn’t Make The Golden Globes And Why She Was Nervous About That Sean Penn Handbag Jab

Golden Globes host Nikki Glaser appeared on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show this morning and shared what jokes she cut from her opening monologue Sunday. Here’s one: “You know, people just aren’t going to the theaters to see things and if you don’t believe me, there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made $14.” And: “You know, everyone’s concerned about AI. Tilly Norwood is the first star to be completely generated by AI and somehow has still been sexually assaulted by three different studio execs.” Watch the video clips below. Watch on Deadline Glaser, who said she calls the roster of cut jokes her “Stern File,” had a bunch of jabs at celebrities that didn’t make the final cut. Such as: “ Sean Penn is nominated tonight, I’m assuming for best neck veins?” “Sean Penn is here looking like the defiant last tree standing in a rainforest.” Leonardo DiCaprio “always looks like he’s squinting. Leo, why are you always squinting? I mean, I assume it’s to read your girlfriend’s ID. Just making sure that the year starts with a two.” “Amy Poehler is here for her podcast Good Hang , which is what Timothée Chalamet says after sex.” “Julia Roberts is nominated for After The Hunt . I don’t know what it’s about, but I’m assuming the hunt was to find someone who’s seen it?” “Jonathan Bailey is here. Jonathan is the first openly gay man to be named the Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine, and at first I was like, ‘Do we really need to say openly?’ and then I looked at a list of past winners and I was like, ‘Oh yeah, we do.'” “Jeff Goldblum is here tonight, not because he is nominated just because they were shooting an ad for Apartments.com down the street and he just kind of wandered in. Jeff doing ads for Apartments.com is hilarious. You haven’t lived in apartments since you were a fly.” “ One Battle After Another had so many incredible performances. Chase Infinity is nominated for Best Actress tonight and Chase Infinity is her real name, and this is true. If you apply now, you can earn 5% cash back on all travel booked through her through the end of the year, so get on that. It is a great deal.” “Chase Infiniti Payne is actually her real name. Chase Infiniti Payne, which is also how Sean Penn gets an erection. He chases infinity pain.” “Brad Pitt is nominated for his role in F1 tonight. See, that’s what I love about Hollywood. When a man turns 60, he gets to play a race car driver. Meanwhile, after 35, every role for a woman is tired mom who hates her life.” “ Pluribus is nominated. Did you guys know that Pluribus is Latin for I haven’t seen it ?” Glaser said David Spade gave her this joke: “I just saw Sean Penn...

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