I lost my baby daughter, but God’s love can help us past grief this Christmas

Christmas reminds us Jesus is the greatest gift and God's love is always with us Pastor Jesse Bradley of Grace Community Church in Washington state says Christmas points us to Jesus - the greatest gift - and the Advent themes of hope, peace, joy and love. As we celebrate, we remember nothing can separate us from God’s love. For many, Christmas is a time of celebration, laughter and loved ones gathering. But for others, it magnifies the grief of what could be and awakens memories we wish we could forget. A season that promises peace can instead expose our deepest pain. Before founding Auntie Anne’s, I walked through a season of darkness that I never thought I would escape. The loss of my 19-month-old daughter Angie created a hole in my heart that made it seem as though joy would always be out of reach. The darkness of grief can make it seem like all hope is lost. I kept wondering when, or if, I could ever piece myself back together. Following my daughter’s death, I sought help from our pastor but was taken advantage of and abused for seven years. My grief led me down a path of shame I thought there was no coming back from. I found myself all alone in a world of secrets and darkness. AT CHRISTMAS, GOD FULFILLS HIS PURPOSE - AND GIVES US OURS God’s love was the turning point and light that brought me out of the tunnel of grief. His salvation brought me restorative healing and led me on the path to being well. Confessing my story and secrets and trusting in God allowed me to move forward and receive forgiveness from others, God and even myself. Regardless of the pauses in my healing, after my first step into the realm of speaking truth, I never went all the way back to the dark place where I started. A woman kneels in church and looks up to heaven with candles in the background. (istock) Though there is no quick fix for trauma and pain, it is possible to be well, even after living with the pain for long periods of time. And deciding to be well doesn’t mean we never experience the effects of our pain again. My husband Jonas and I will never stop grieving the loss of our daughter, but the way we grieve has changed as we experience each new season of life without Angie, especially so during the holidays. I can’t explain all the mysteries of God. I’m no theologian. But I know what I have experienced. In the midst of the worst mess imaginable was where I found Him. And He was more loving and trustworthy than I ever knew. My connection with Him , and, eventually, my connection with others gave me the freedom to process my story and make confession and storytelling part of my ongoing journey. That kind of authentic, understanding community can be lifesaving in navigating the new normal of being well...

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