Fussy eaters and TV remote hogs: How to avoid family rows over Christmas

Fussy eaters and TV remote hogs: How to avoid family rows over Christmas Christmas is billed as the most wonderful time of the year - but the day itself could have all the ingredients needed for a family row. There's a reason you haven't seen some of these people all year - you just know someone is going to criticise your cooking, there will be a heated debate over dinner and a tussle over the TV remote. We spoke to psychologists and parenting experts for their top tips on how to keep the Christmas spirit and avoid a family fallout. 1. Give up on the perfect Christmas Begin by refusing to chase the idealised movie version of Christmas, says psychotherapist and author Philippa Perry. "We need to lower the expectations of what Christmas gives us, and then we won't be so disappointed in it," she told CBeebies' Parenting Helpline podcast . Unspoken rules like "we must see everybody" only add to the stress, as does social media pressure over what the picture-perfect Christmas Day should look like. Natalie Costa, a parenting coach, former teacher and host of the Connected podcast, encourages people to remember that nobody's life looks the way it does online. "Behind all the happy family pictures are children - and adults - who've had big meltdowns," she says. This reality check can help reduce guilt over not measuring up. Instead of trying to compete with others, she suggests approaching Christmas with the attitude of: "What does my good-enough look like?" 2. Don't compete on gifting Exchanging presents is a huge part of Christmas. If there are young kids in the house, giddy early wake-up calls are a given. But sometimes gift-giving can feel competitive, especially among extended family where budgets can differ, says Prof Perry. The best way to handle this isn't to try to compete or police kids' relationships with adults, but reframe the situation. She encourages parents to "let go" if grandparents, aunties and uncles choose to spoil young ones. Costa adds that this can later become a useful way to discuss values with children - emphasising that bigger presents don't reflect love. "You cannot buy love," Prof Perry says. "What children like is your attention and being played with. That is better than any gift." 3. Prepare for awkward comments Complicated family dynamics don't disappear just because it's Christmas and festive classics are playing. One minute you're merrily drinking mulled wine, the next being asked why you're not happily married or whether you are planning children. Any resentments, tensions and difference in values will remain with the added pressure of fulfilling a fantasy image of happy families. Passive aggressive comments often come from someone else's stress and insecurity, says psychotherapist Sarah Turner. This doesn't excuse the behaviour, but can make it feel less personal. When we feel stung our instinct is to defend or withdraw, but Turner advises pausing first. "You have the power to choose how to respond." Another tip is to ask...

Preview: ~500 words