In Gaza we’re trapped in an endless maze of waiting – for peace, for the deaths to stop and for our lives to begin again | Aya Al-Hattab

Here in Gaza we hear the word “peace” constantly - even more often than we hear the roar of warplanes or the thuds of shelling. It appears on television screens, in the statements of world leaders, in promises repeated again and again. Every country claims to want peace for Palestinians. Yet have we ever lived it for a single day? The truth is that we have not. Palestinians displaced by Israeli attacks struggle to survive in makeshift tents set up along Al-Rashid Street in western Gaza City, 15 December.Photograph: Anadolu/Getty Images How Israel's 'yellow line' is dividing Gaza with deadly consequences – video explainer We are now living under a ceasefire, or at least that is what the US and the rest of the world have been telling us. But in Gaza, we haven’t felt it at all. It was announced on 10 October, amid great celebrations in Sharm el-Sheikh. Since then, Israeli forces have killed more than 360 Palestinians , including about 70 children, in Gaza. Because of the explosions I keep hearing, I am still afraid to leave the house. We are trapped in an endless maze of waiting: for the suffering to stop, for our lives to begin again and above all, for the death to end. While the world’s leaders discuss the “day after” and finalise their peace plans, proposing and deciding our fate, we remain in the depths of the unknown, drowning in the fear and confusion war has caused. My family and I are now renting a small, unsuitable apartment. Daily life is extremely difficult. Access to water is limited, cash is hard to obtain with no working ATMs and the streets are so badly destroyed that walking or driving feels dangerous. There is no electricity or reliable internet, and no sense of stability or safety. I see families living in destroyed homes, with buildings above them at constant risk of collapse. They have no choice. All they want is a roof over their heads, even if it could fall at any second. And since it is December, with no homes left for us and our life confined to tents, some of us are literally submerged in winter water, in mud, in every sense of the word. Along the newly created borders of Gaza, where Israel has taken even more of our land and homes, is a new invisible boundary they call the “ yellow line ”. On the east side of the line, houses are demolished every day, and people cannot sleep because of the intensity of the explosions and the smell of smoke. We hear stories that children are shot if they come near or cross the line that no one can see. At the start of December I visited relatives in Gaza City whose home is still standing, near the so-called yellow line. The house constantly shakes from artillery fire and what we call explosive robots - ground-based, remotely operated devices loaded with large amounts of explosivesthat are capable of destroying...

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