4 types of emotionally immature parents, from reactive to critical

" Emotionally immature parents " was coined by clinical psychologist Lindsey C. Gibson. Gibson, who wrote a bestselling book on the subject, said these parents fall into 4 major types. Emotionally immature parents can be reactive, critical, passive, or emotionally absent. As buzzy as the term "narcissist" has become in recent years, many people find it too harsh or black-and-white - especially when describing their own parents. At the same time, they feel stuck. They love their mom, but she dismisses any hint of criticism. They don't see their dad as a villain, but don't know why he never calls them, either. Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, a clinical psychologist, thought of these adult children when she coined the term "emotionally immature parents" and wrote her bestselling book on the topic. Gibson, who wanted to help adult children stuck in unhealthy relationships with their parents, believed that labels like "toxic" were misleading. "The parent does have good qualities," she previously told Business Insider. They might jump into action if their child is sick or needs financial support, for example. "The problem is that those times happen on the parent's schedule, depending upon how secure or good that parent is feeling about themselves." When they aren't being affectionate, thoughtful, or charming, these parents can blow up, shut down, or simply become MIA at any hint of conflict, making their children feel like they're walking on eggshells . Gibson said there are four types of emotionally immature parents. While a parent can be more than one type, she said that most tend to fall into one category. She defines each type by the parent's "unique methods of coping with emotion and stress." She shared the four types of emotionally immature parents - and the effects they have on their kids. 1. Reactive parents Reactive parents can be perfectly warm and loving - when everything goes their way. When it doesn't, they can suddenly become volatile and erratic, getting angry or upset over issues you wouldn't expect someone to. Gibson refers to reactive parents as "emotional parents" because they behave like they're ruled by their feelings. "They make life so unpleasant when they get upset that people start involuntarily automatically thinking twice before they speak or do something," Gibson said. Often, the children of these parents grow up to be people-pleasers , always on the lookout for potential conflict to stamp out. They may also have a hard time setting boundaries or even disentangling their feelings from their parents', instead prioritizing peacekeeping. 2. Highly critical parents Highly critical parents are perfectionists who nitpick at everything their child does. Gibson also calls them "driven" parents, because "they're always going after something." In childhood, they may pick apart your grades or gymnastics performance. In adulthood, it can evolve into judging your job, lifestyle, or appearance. "They can be very pushy and very controlling," Gibson said, not caring about the impact their words have on you. "It's coming from a belief that in order to be anybody...

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