How the ‘Rule of 3’ framework simplifies tough decisions

Should I take this project? Say yes to the new job offer? Stick with this plan or walk away? Every choice we make can feel huge. And every path has its own set of risks and rewards. There are always more questions for every life-changing decision. Sometimes the pros-and-cons lists feel more like busywork than progress. You check off the boxes, stare at the lists, and still end up confused, stuck in the same mental loop. That’s why I rely on the rule of 3 framework to make tough decisions. I hope it helps you clarify your life-changing choices. How it works Whenever you’re stuck, force yourself to create three paths: B, C, and D. Why not A? A is usually the default for most people. The thing you’re already doing. The path of least resistance. It doesn’t need your help. What you need are alternatives. Then comes the second step, and this is where most people stop thinking too soon. Now, for each path, think through: First-order effects Second-order outcomes And third-order consequences And then, and this matters, choose the path with the most meaningful but least life-changing consequences. Why the two-option path doesn’t work When you only have two options, your brain keeps going back and forth. Right vs wrong. Safe vs risky. Smart vs stupid. You stop being logical. There’s a term for it: binary bias or black-and-white thinking. We do it all the time. Two choices feel better. But they are not. They’re restrictive and create a lot of unnecessary pressure. “Most decisions are not binary, and there are usually better answers waiting to be found if you do the analysis and involve the right people,” Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan Chase, says. Three options open things up. Adding a third option reduces your emotional load and improves perceived control. You feel less trapped. And more capable. For example, if you are thinking about changing jobs. This is how it usually goes. Option 1: Quit and leap. Option 2: Stay and suffer. Now try the Rule of 3. Path B: Quit and take a new role in a similar field. Path C: Stay for six months and skill up aggressively. Path D: Go part-time or freelance while testing something new. Of course, none of these options is perfect. That’s why the next stage of the process is even more important: the consequences. 1st, 2nd and 3rd order effects It simply means keep asking, “and then what?” First-order effects are immediate. What happens right away when you make the decision? Second-order effects come next. What does that lead to? Third-order effects are longer-term. Who do you become if this path continues? I will now apply the effects to the job-changing example. Path B: Quit and take a similar role. First-order: New environment. Relief. You may stop dreading Mondays. Second-order: You become more confident. Now, you know you’re employable. You can actually change jobs. Third-order: You might stay on the same path longer than you want. Now...

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