Two words to avoid when making your New Year's resolution

Two words to avoid when making your New Year's resolution "New Year, New You" messages are everywhere right now. Adverts for gym and diet plans pop up in your socials and back-to-work chat turns to what everyone is cutting out, taking up or finally getting right in January. Yet most New Year's resolutions don't last. Many of us will have abandoned our goals by mid-January. But this year can be different. We've asked some experts for their tips on how to make - and keep - your New Year's resolutions. 1. Be realistic Will 2026 be the year you'll "lose weight", "change career" or "move house"? Beware - these are not actionable plans, they're pressure statements, warns Dr Claire Kaye, a former GP and confidence coach. Resolutions often fail because they are unclear, unrealistic and too broad, she says. She advises writing down what's working in your life, what's draining you or no longer fits, and where are you running on autopilot. "When you understand what you want more of, not just what you want to escape, change becomes far more sustainable," she says. Write down your goals focusing on "direction and experience rather than a fixed point". She suggests "Lose weight" can be reframed as: "I want to feel more energised and comfortable in my body, and understand what helps me feel that way." Instead of "change career", it could be: "I want to explore what work gives me energy and meaning, and identify one small step towards more of that." 2. Don't use these two words Another thing to avoid when writing down your goals is fixed language like "always" or "never", says psychologist Kimberley Wilson. It creates an all-or-nothing approach that is extremely hard to stick to. Promising yourself "I'll always go for a run on a Wednesday" or "I'm never drinking again" just sets you up for a fall. "A classic example is around diet or exercise and people think that if they mess up one day then the whole thing is pointless," she tells BBC's What's Up Doc podcast . She says people can develop tunnel vision, judging a single choice in isolation, when what's needed is a wider perspective that puts one moment into the context of many. Dr Kaye says goals should be written with flexible phrasing such as "I want to experiment with", "I want to create more space for" or "I'm learning what works for me when". 3. Plan for relapse You've been so good for weeks then one missed run, one takeaway, one late night and suddenly your winning streak is over and you feel defeated. The reason why some resolutions fail is because "people make plans for their best selves", says Wilson. "They are not prepared for being up late or having a hard day at work and at that point they don't have a plan to put into practice," she says. Wilson says it's important to accept relapse as part of the process - it doesn't mean you've...

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