How to end the year right: come up with your own personal rituals

How do you celebrate the end of the year? ‘Removing activities we only do out of obligation or habit creates space for more restorative ones.’Illustration: María Medem/The Guardian Office parties can be a drag, but if you’re self-employed, it can be easy to roll without ceremony from one year into the next. Three years ago, two friends and I were bemoaning the lack of festivities and decided to make up for it by organising our own end-of-year lunch. It has become a beacon in my calendar: we find a restaurant we’ve been wanting to try, book the afternoon off and count down to the date. It always feels special and memorable. That’s the power of ritual, says Erin Coupe, a transformation coach and author of I Can Fit That In: How Rituals Transform Your Life. She defines rituals as “intentional, rhythmic choices” that bring us energy, presence and meaning. At this time of year, it’s traditional to take stock and set intentions for the next. But rituals aren’t just for special occasions, Coupe argues - they can elevate everyday life. Here are her tips for creating more meaning during the festive season and beyond. Instead of spending money, look for meaning As well as repetition, structure and action, rituals are defined by intention and meaning, says Coupe. By contrast, routines often carry obligation or duty, and can be carried out mindlessly. A ritual “fills you up”, Coupe says: “You are purposely choosing to do it because you want to, and you know that it’s going to stir something within you.” This also distinguishes rituals from superficial versions of “self-care” that require you to spend money. Use ritual throughout the year There’s scope to create your own traditions. “Some rituals might be annual, or seasonal,” Coupe says. Instead of exchanging holiday gifts, Coupe’s family takes a holiday in early January: “That experience is the ritual, being together.” The same could apply to something like my freelance festive lunch. Enshrining a monthly meal or weekly call as a ritual makes it more meaningful and more likely to be prioritised, Coupe says: “There’s a cadence to it. It’s something you look forward to.” Think beyond resolutions Instead of setting resolutions, Coupe chooses a single word to guide her year, based on what she wants to cultivate: for example, abundance, clarity or peace. She displays her chosen word prominently in her home. It’s “less daunting” than a resolution, she says, focusing on smaller and more immediate opportunities for change. Coupe also conducts an annual review of her work, looking at what went well, what she could do without and what she wants to pursue more of. Without such check-ins, she says, it’s easy to spend the year “just going through the motions”. More from Why am I like this: Check in with yourself It’s hard to bring more meaning to life if you don’t know what’s meaningful to you. “You have to be clear on what fills you up and what drains you,” Coupe...

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